I know you hate hearing about my gifted child, but there are some things I want you to know.

The purpose of my blog is to share with you the trials and triumphs we experience as a family with children who have special needs. Typically I focus on the ones that are most obviously associated with my kids- like Autism, SPD, Pediatric Feeding Disorder, and speech and language disorders, but there is another need that my children have. While being gifted is a different type of special need than the ones I listed above, it is one that affects us daily and requires heavy modification in our parenting style and the choices we make for our children's education. It is my hope that you will read this with an open heart and mind and come away with a better understanding of what the word gifted really means.

A few days ago, an article titled "I Hate Hearing About Your Gifted Child" came across my Facebook feed via some gifted group pages I follow. I was afraid of what I might find but followed the link anyways. I wish I hadn't. What I found was an article written by a mom who was bitter that she does not have a gifted child. She noted that her child was very kind but instead of loving this child for her caring spirit, she lamented that her daughter wasn't gifted and how that made her hate hearing about children who were. At least that is what I got out of. First off, I was hurt by the article. Secondly, I felt sorry for her daughter because it sounds as if her mom isn't as proud of her as she should be. Lastly, I was angered that this article just added more anti-gifted crap to the Internet.

I've had a few days to think about what was written and had hoped that I would just be able to forget about it. Instead, it has made me feel an even deeper amount of pride for my children than I did before. It also has made me realize that I am sick and tired of keeping it under wraps from the world outside of this blog, the fact that both, yes both, of my children are gifted. I should not have to keep it under wraps like a deep dark dirty secret so that I don't upset bitter and misinformed people, like the one who wrote the aforementioned article. No I don't brag to make other parents feel bad, and don't intend too, but if a mom says how proud she is that her daughter is reading 3 levels above her grade then why can't I voice my children's accomplishments as well?

Even now, I feel guilty about writing this post. What if I offend someone? What if they think I am bragging? What if they are thinking to themselves, shut up about how smart your kids are already? What if they don't believe me because after all, all mom's think they have the smartest kid in the whole world. What if they think there is no such thing as gifted or that all children are gifted? No mom should ever have to feel like this or censor reality for fear of what other people think.

I'll admit, when the psychologist said things like "exceptional", "gifted", and "psychologists wait their whole careers to see a child like this", I was a little giddy with excitement. My excitement was short lived as he went on to explain that at the level my child scored, it can also be a disability. He might as well have just said "You have a little genius on your hands BUT because of this, she won't be able to function in a normal world." It didn't take long for me to figure out why he wanted me to understand that this would not be an easy journey. First off, the whole reason our child was tested was because we took her in for a behavioral evaluation. We expected to come away with a diagnosis of Aspergers, ADHD, or OCD....anything but gifted. We found out that all of those behaviors that were a bit similar to other disorders were actually connected to high IQ. We also found out that learning disabilities are quite common in the gifted population as is anxiety and depression. As I have learned more and more about giftedness, words jump out at me like "high school dropout", "bullying", and *gulp* "suicide". These are all things that are in the high risk category for the gifted population.

My kids are not even school age yet but the issues that often go along with being gifted are already a reality in our home. They have what is known in the gifted world, as Dabrowski's Over-Excitabilities, meaning they have difficulty with sleep, sensory processing issues, handling emotions, and hyperactivity all to the point that it impacts their daily life. Sarah Hazel has an incredibly intense imagination that makes it hard for her to differentiate between dreams and reality, resulting in night terrors that have lasted for hours. She also has an early diagnosis of Auditory Processing Disorder which makes it hard for her to listen to stories being read aloud in group settings or listen to directions given by teachers. While Auditory Processing isn't a by-product of being gifted, it is one of the common learning disabilities that often goes along with it. Sarah Hazel also is a deep thinker and very emotional. Sad songs, movie endings, stray animals, hurt children, natural disasters are just some of the things she becomes overly concerned and connected with to the point of it causing her to become depressed if she doesn't see a happy ending in sight. Then there is our other child who is possibly gifted at an even higher level. Cameron began reading at the age of 15 months and now at the age of 2.5, is decoding words at over a 4th grade level. While that may sound "cool", I don't want my son reading words that will require explanations that he is not yet mature enough for. Cameron's Autism already makes it hard enough for him to relate to people, being gifted just puts him that much further away from the norm.

Then there's school. I have no idea what we are going to do but it's looking like a typical classroom isn't going to meet my kids needs (and this isn't just my opinion but also opinions of professionals working closely with them). Both of my kids will require a small class size in order to cope with their sensory issues and learning disabilities. They will both likely require even further differentiation if not also acceleration that will allow them to work at their current level. They already have requirements that make them stick out like a sore thumb before they've entered the door. 

I tell you all of this, not to get sympathy, but for you to understand that being gifted comes along with price and that in no way does it mean success. I think what many parents of gifted children wish others knew is that gifted is not the same as high achieving. It's also not the same as prodigy or savant. Gifted is a different way of thinking and isn't something that can be acquired.  Another reason I am sharing this with you is because I want you to understand that if I share something my child did, I'm not trying to compare or make you feel bad. This is who my kids are and this is what our normal is. They have a lot of hurdles in their way, please don't add another one by not accepting and appreciating them for who they really are.